Iron Maiden

I recently took up a new hobby. Ironing. I thought about bridge but it seemed awfully social. Ironing you say? What’s the point? Are you crazy?…  Really. Try it. It’s like a free meditation class and provides instant gratification. Granted most normal working or sane folk probably can’t be bothered. But if you have the time it provides a sense of satisfaction and order to one’s life. Not to mention my husband loves and appreciates it. Oh stop rolling your eyes.

I set up in our tiled hallway with a cheap board in front of me, wondering if it too should be replaced, now that I have a new, moderately expensive, blue, steam sensor iron by Siemens. Will my new iron be offended passing over this stumpy, girth lacking wafer of a board? Would I be that much more efficient if I spent another 75 euro on a new plank? One always needs the right equipment.  Wrinkled t-shirts, undershirts, dishtowels, sheets and pillowcases, awaiting their creaseless destiny are piled on the short IKEA side table. The one with 4 conspicuous drill holes on top, relegated to the hall, unseen by visitors, punished for being wrongly fastened together. It now has a purpose. I take each piece of clothing, drape it or lay it on the board and together with the hunk of metal, we work magic. Do you know why gap outlet t-shirts are so cheap? You would if you ever ironed one with the seams that don’t match up. Ever tried ironing viscose pretending to be cotton? Can’t be done. It’s like sliding on glue at a 180° (yes that’s a straight line). Don’t run your hot iron over rubber/plastic team numbers or appliques- you can guess why. I’ve also found an excellent way to iron sheets. Email me for more info (I won’t hold my breath). This is also  a gorgeous time to indulge in the new series Once Upon A Time. O’s  music stand turned flat serves as a platform for my laptop. Streaming and steaming. Sweet. And the opportunity presents itself every week.

I didn’t come up with this ironing idea all on my own. It was one morning whilst having coffee with a friend who told me she irons everything except underwear and jeans. Feeling like an underachiever, I thought I’d have a go at it. Besides my mother would be so proud I thought. Not really, she thinks it’s a phase because I’m a newlywed…. Maybe during the first marriage… But now it’s serious business and I will do it forever. Ok. Lastly, it’s probably not burning as many calories as some sports or other housework for that matter, but I’m standing and my hands are full of something besides food for an hour , so that counts for something.

Here’s my new tool.

MCSA034537_TB26130_def.epsWho Can Argue?

5 responses

  1. Well Wendy,

    Your cunning sense of humor and rapier wit are coming through loud and clear in this piece. Great title with an IRON-ic twist.

    Love it …. Dad


  2. Hate ironing! My Grandma trained me to iron my Grandpa’s shirts and it took forever. Then one of my first jobs was as a “mother’s helper” and she made me iron everything. Jeans, sheets, you name it, I was ironing it. Guess she wanted to find something for me to do for 4 hours a day. Now that I have a husband and son – I spend the $1.00 and take the shirts to the drycleaners. Yea! for little services like that. Totally worth it. Have to say though, I am envying your pile of smooth laundry. You go girl!


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  4. Argh! Life is one endless self-replenishing pile of laundry! Ironing can actually be quite therapeutic when one does not want to do anything else. Which rarely ever happens. The idea of ironing was thought up to taunt us. Hullo, yes it IS me again. Uh-huh, you only just ironed me last week, but aha! I’m back, wrinklier than ever! Right now, I can’t even be bothered to figure out how to organise my clothes in my wardrobe (which was new, however many months ago – yes, shame on me). So ironing.. even though my mother brought me up to be a dab hand at it… happens when it has to. But I do iron jeans. Mine anyway 😉 Not with a crease down the front mind! 😛


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